20 Questions to Ask a Wedding Officiant - and a Few to Ask Yourself

You've picked the date and secured the perfect venue. You know exactly what kind of cake you'll have. You're narrowing down your choices for a DJ. So, what are you missing? 

Oh, yeah..... someone has to officiate your wedding ceremony!

There are so many choices for officiants, so how do you know if you've found the right person? They key to this is asking the right questions. 

When you sit down with a potential officiant, you are meeting this person to see whether you're a good match. Be sure to use the consultation as an opportunity to ask questions. Learn as much as you can about the person who will be responsible for one of the most important moments in your life. 

Here is a list of questions that should help you pick the right officiant:
 
1.    Did you go through any formal training in order to officiate ceremonies?
 
2.    Are your ceremonies any different from those of other officiants?
 
3.    Do you officiate other ceremonies besides weddings?
 
4.    What was one of your favorite wedding ceremonies?
 
5.    Would you ever turn down a couple's invitation to perform their ceremony? If so, for what reason?
 
6.    How would you describe your ideal couple?

7.    Have you ever had things go wrong during a ceremony? How did you handle it?
 
8.    What do you think is your main responsibility as an officiant?
 
9.    What's the best compliment a wedding guest ever gave you?
 
10. What was the funniest or oddest moment in a wedding you celebrated?
 
11. How much control (or input) do we have over the final ceremony?

12. What are your thoughts on a rehearsal? Do you charge extra for running a rehearsal?

13. Do you need a microphone on the wedding day?

14. Will you be staying for the rehearsal dinner and/or reception?

15. Have you ever been late or missed a wedding? If so, what happened?

16. How many weddings do you officiate in a day?

17. Have you ever co-officiated a ceremony with another officiant? If not, would you be willing to do so?

18. Do have any restrictions for us or any of our wedding professionals? (Ex: No flash photography.)

19. What is your fee and what does the fee include?

20. Would you tell us a bit about yourself? 

After the consultation, be sure to take some time to sit down and talk about your meeting. Compare notes and be sure you and your future spouse are on the same page. 

You may want to ask yourselves a few questions. Such as...

Does this person’s personality and approach match ours?

Will this person make us feel comfortable on our wedding day?
  
Does he/she seem prepared and professional?

Is he/she enthusiastic about our wedding?

Does he/she seem interested in us as a couple and in making our ceremony special?

Can we trust this person to make our ceremony run smoothly?

I hope this list comes in handy. Good luck with your search! (And if you would be kind enough to excuse a professional plug - be sure you speak to a Life-Cycle Celebrant!)

Green Wedding Tips from Sierra Club

I just came across this post on the Sierra Club website - 10 Steps to a Green Wedding and wanted to share.

The article had some great suggestions, including:

• Avoid "blood diamonds" in favor of vintage rings, or even wooden bands
• Choose a venue that require less travel 
• Serve organic wine
• Use a florist that offers local flowers and greenery

One of my favorite tips was celebrating your marriage with a shower of biodegradable confetti!

Ecofetti offers confetti that is environmentally safe - and comes in a variety of colors, as seen below.

How fun is that? 

So, as you plan your wedding, keep in mind that there are many options that will allow you to have a wonderful, unique event, and still remain environmentally responsible. 

Wonderful, Intimate Wedding

I had the great joy of participating in this incredible inspiration photo shoot of a beautiful, intimate wedding, which was featured on Style Me Pretty! It was so lovely, I had to share a few of the gorgeous photos by Julia Franzosa Photography.

The ceremony included a handfasting.

The grooms also participated in a Blessing Stone ritual.

And look at this hot cocoa bar!!

There were so many fabulous details, thanks to the creative genius of Greatest Expectations Special Events & Weddings. The delicious sweets were created by Truffle Truffle, with beautiful flower decor by Pistil and Vine. Be sure to check out all the photos in the complete gallery!

Maria & Lisa's Intimate Backyard Ceremony

I had so much fun working with Lisa and Maria as we created their ceremony!

Their wedding day started off being pretty wet, especially after the previous day's storms. But, a little drizzle wasn't going to stop us! Despite it being cool and a little misty, we had the ceremony in the garden, with a beautiful flower arch as a backdrop. 

Maria and Lisa included a flower-gathering ritual, during which family members came forward to present them with flowers to create a bouquet. It was so sweet to see their loved ones come up, especially when Maria's little nephew announced with a big grin, "Here you go!" You could definitely feel the love surrounding them!

Now I'm just dying to see all the gorgeous photos by the amazing Oriana of Okrfoto. I know they'll be fantastic!

Hanging out with Lisa and Maria before the ceremony

Following the ceremony, guests joined the couple at a neraby restaurant for a reception, and then came back to their house for cake. Look how sweet that cake looks! And since it's from Luscious Layers Bakery, you know it was delicious! And from what I'm told, there wasn't a single crumb left over. 

Fabulous cake by Luscious Layers Bakery

Congratulations, Maria and Lisa! Thank you for letting me be a part of your wonderful wedding day. You're the best!! And now that I've sampled the results of your amazing baking skills, you'll never get rid of me. 

Marina & Bill's Ceremony at the Lincoln Park Conservatory

A view from the back of the space, just before guests arrived.

Yesterday, I had the honor of officiating Marina and Bill's ceremony at the Lincoln Park Conservatory. They are such a sweet couple! They are also very laid back. When I asked Marina what her Maid of Honor would be wearing, she said she didn't know - she was leaving it up to her. I love that! (And Nadia looked great in her green outfit, as you can see in the photo below.)

Being nature lovers, this was the perfect spot for Bill and Marina's ceremony. They didn't want all the bells and whistles, but rather something that would reflect their tastes. And so, they picked a beautiful, natural space. They gathered their closest friends and family members and enjoyed an intimate celebration.

Their good friend, Nick, provided the musical accompaniment on the saxophone. It was simply magical when Marina walked in to Glen Miller's "Moonlight Serenade."  The music filled the space and set the tone for the day. Another perfect touch.

Congratulations, Marina and Bill. I wish you all the best! Much love to you both!

Show Room - ceremony took place on the path in front of the white lilies.

Bill and Marina after the ceremony. Marina opted to forgo the traditional bridal bouquet.
Instead, she wore a green orchid in her hair. Gorgeous! 

The bride and groom with the Maid of Honor and Best Man

Gia & Keenan's Steampunk-Inspired Wedding

I am fascinated by th steampunk movement and so excited that it has made its way into weddings. So, you can imagine my giddiness at having had the honor of officiating a ceremony for a steampunk-themed wedding this past February. Not only did they plan a cool wedding, Gia and Keenan were great to work with. They were so laid-back and made the process easy - and really fun!

The wedding took place at Tazza Italian Ristorante in Homer Glen. Gia's cousin, Rose, who happens to own the restaurant, went all-out with the decor. Each of the tables were adorned with a clock- and gear-embellished centerpiece. 


And the piece de resistance? The unbelievable fabulous robot cake topper - made by Gia's cousin. She surprised them with the cake topped just before the ceremony (see pix below).

Robot cake topper - the clock even has the start time of the ceremony!

Surprise! Gia & Keenan see the cake topper for the first time

Each table had a different centerpiece

Place cards for guests

Gia was the calmest bride ever - here she is doing her friend's hair before the ceremony

Love the details on the card box!

Keenan's very cool hat

Another view of the robot couple

After the ceremony - all smiles!

Many of the guests got into the steampunk theme

Decor for the bride & groom's table - love the vintage bicycle clock!

Congratulations, Keenan & Gia! It was such a joy to be a part of your incredible wedding! I wish you all the best!

Create an Intimate Setting for Your Ceremony

If you are trying to create an intimate setting for your ceremony, you may want to consider a canopy, or chuppah. Commonly used in Jewish weddings, a canopy can be used for any wedding to create a more intimate atmosphere.

So, with that being said, I just had to share a picture of this beautiful chuppuh, or canopy, created by the wonderful Pollen Floral Design in Chicago.

The great news is that this lovely creation can be rented for your own ceremony!

Pollen will customize it to your specifications, using locally grown organic flowers or greenery, or Fair Trade products. This is a company that specializes in green weddings and uses eco-friendly products, so you can feel good about your choice.

Plus, the results are gorgeous! I've seen Pollen's work and you will definitely not be disappointed.

Can't you just see yourself exchanging vows under this beautiful canopy? If so, contact Pollen be clicking here.

It's All About YOU!!

Are you worrying about your upcoming wedding ceremony?

Nervous that it may wind up being the same as every other wedding ceremony you've seen?

Hoping to make your ceremony more "YOU?"

Then you may be interested in my upcoming workshop, "Creating a Unique Wedding Ceremony." The workshop is being offered through Oakton Community College.

Topics to be covered include:

• Selecting the right readings
• Rituals from different cultures
• Blending different traditions
• Theme weddings

There will also be time for a Q & A, so you can have your specific questions answered.

Here are all the details:

Class: Creating a Unique Wedding Ceremony (course code is PSY B02-01)

Location: Glenbrook South High School, 4000 W. Lake Ave. in Glenview

When: Tuesday, October 5th, 7 - 8:30 p.m. Workshop Fee: $30

How to Register online: Visit Oakton's website

Register by phone: Call 847-982-9888 & choose option 3 (days) or 847-486-4713 (evenings)

Hope to see you there!

I Wanna Pinata!

When my 40th birthday was creeping up last year, I started thinking about having a party. A big party. No kids. Lots of appetizers. Cupcakes.... And a pinata.

Yes, I wanted a pinata. But not a kiddie pinata - a grown up pinata, filled with fancy chocolates, little bottles of scented lotion, some funky wind-up toys. Maybe a few Borders gift cards.

Alas, my pinata never materialized. That's because I didn't plan a party. My wonderful husband wound up planning a surprise party at my dear friend's house. And I was completely, utterly surprised! He still questions whether I suspected anything. Trust me - if I expected a party, I would definitely have worn a much better outfit!

Imagine my delight when I saw a wedding pinata posted on the 2000 Dollar Wedding blog! Guest poster Linda and her groom, Chad, decided to have guests take swipes at a pinata during the wedding reception. The pinata, which was made by one of their friends, was a big hit. Be sure to check out the post - it even has instructions for making your own wedding (or birthday!) pinata.

I'm thinking my next birthday may now involve swinging at a paper mache pony!

Planning an Intimate Wedding

I just discovered the Intimate Weddings website, created by Christina Friedrichson, author of Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style. The website offers helpful, informative articles on planning a small wedding. The great thing is that the articles have useful advice for all couples, regardless of the size of your wedding.

I just read 15 Unique Ceremony Ideas which has excellent suggestions, such as having bridesmaids carry candles instead of bouquets. Another is arranging the seating of the ceremony so that guests will be around you, in a circle. There are several good ideas to create a more intimate atmosphere for your wedding.

The article 50 Ways to Save Money on Your Small Wedding offers suggestions that allow you to have a great wedding on a small budget. A few of my favorites are:

#8 - Guys, do you really need a tux? What about a suit?
#19 - Use potted plants or herbs as an alternative to cut flowers.
#25 - Is it necessary to have an elegant rehearsal dinner? If not, why not have a more casual dinner. Why not go out for Chinese food or order a pizza. What about a backyard barbecue?
#48 - Call your local university or college to find out if there are any talented photographers at the school that shoot weddings.


Check out the website for some great ideas you can use for your own ceremony.

And check out the book for even more ideas!